Happy Father’s Day
Let’s bypass the platitudes and the neat sayings about fathers. There are far more lousy fathers than there are good ones. As a matter of fact, the percentage of good fathers goes down lower each year. Boys have babies. Men have families.
It’s not a new phenomenon. My father was a narcistic and entitled ‘boy.’ He fathered me, then left just before my birth. He never reformed or became responsible. He died the jerk that he lived.
My stepfather was no prize, either. Thanks to him, I had childhood PTSD. I never felt secure or at peace, always anticipating an outburst of rage and physical abuse. I never heard the words, “I love you,” from him. I never had an embrace from him. I was convinced he hated me, because I was not his. I never thought that the words, “I love you,” could come out of him, not even, “I like you.”
Now, don’t get me wrong. I was less than a perfect child, in fact, much less, but no one deserved the beatings I got. I thought his coming home was a little bit less enjoyable for me than a trip to the dentist.
Okay, let’s talk about men. Fathers, the only test is if your children respect and love you.
- Do they obey you if they are young and seek your guidance if they are older?
“My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth.” –Proverbs 3:11-12
- Do they love their wives, and do their wives love them?
“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” –Ephesians 5:33
- Do they give their wives and children security, because they are responsible?
“But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.” –1 Timothy 5:8
- Do they have God because of you, and do they love God because of you?
“Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
–Proverbs 22:6
- Do they transfer love from you to others around them and respect those that you respect, because you respect God?
“In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine shewing uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity” –Titus 2:7
- Do they have the respect of their children?
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” –Ephesians 6:4
- Will they mourn you when you die or have a party?
There are no excuses. If you do not pass this test, tell them you’re sorry. Start as a responsible friend. Love them unconditionally. In short, man up. They deserve it. You need it. Otherwise, you’re going to have to identify as a monkey and baby-maker, and continue to abandon your responsibilities.
– Written by Pa
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