“Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.”
– Philippians 4:8

Recently my boys and I were moving something heavy.  When we loaded it, I was yelling at one of them; and when we unloaded it, I was yelling at the other one.  I was trying to apologize later and explain to them that they weren’t in trouble, I just had to get their attention before something was dropped.  The younger one stops and looks at me, and says, “It’s not the intention.  It’s the impact.”

At first, I was crushed.  I had not set an example of how to handle stress. I had not shown them patience when working together.  As a parent, I had to reflect and think about how I’d misrepresented God.  I can preach at them all day long, but it is my actions they’ll replicate to their future spouses, my future grandkids, and others around them.  Regardless of my intent, they had felt the impact of my emotion.

As I’ve thought about it, I’ve been trying to gain insight into my perceived need to yell when I feel out of control or in a hurry.  Why do I think I can excuse my behavior if I think I’m having a rough day?  Well, the bottom line is that I don’t trust God.  I don’t trust that it’s really His day, and that He’s created everything inside of it  . . . even my to-do list. I don’t trust that He knows the beginning from the end, and I don’t understand yet that how I interact with people when stressed is more important than anything I get done.

Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
– Proverbs 22:6

I also thought about the impact or the results of our sin on others.  It is the things we do that can set certain beliefs and/or actions of others into motion, especially those in our care.  As adults, we’re still wrestling with the lies we believed because of someone else’s fear or hate.  I have a really bad analogy I try to use when I’m tired of cleaning the dog off again, or sweeping the floors again, or doing the unending laundry, etc.  Instead of letting the chores of life impact me negatively and get me down, I try to remember that I get to do all of these things, because I’m surrounded by a loving family.  I’m getting to take care of them by showing them sacrificial love.  In other words, as an adult, I get to choose the impact life has on me.  I don’t have to be a victim anymore.

In the same way, as mature Christians we need to change the impact other’s mistakes and overt hatred have had on us.  We need to reframe our experiences and choose the impact on our lives.  Instead of believing the lies our parents told us when frustrated, we need to believe the truth of scripture (Psalm 139).  Every single person in our lives will, at some point, disappoint us – including our parents, teachers, and even pastors.  Every single person in our lives will at some point lie or misrepresent truth whether they intend to or not.  Regardless of people’s intentions, though, we must not interpret what man does as truth unless it aligns with the Bible.  As children, we are immature.  We are unable to discern.  We are unable to separate truth from emotion, so we grow up with the impact of sin as part of us.  But we need to mature.

“When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
– 1 Corinthians 13:11

For our own sake, we must be able to separate the emotions, mistakes, and insecurities that others speak to us from the truth of God’s Word in the Bible.  I’ve seen few, if any, people able to do this.  And those that are able, can do it only for a moment.  We’re all wrestling with that flesh.  We’re all broken.  We are all flawed.  And so, we all fall victim to our own emotions and agendas.  Emphasizing, once again, the importance of reading our Bibles, not just so that we have inspiration from those that have gone before us, but so that we can see God’s character in all situations, and He can speak to us through His person.

The flipside to this is trusting people in this brokenness.  Don’t throw the babe out with the bathwater.  Don’t disregard people as you discover their vulnerabilities and insecurities.  Accept it as opportunity to speak into their lives what you think Jesus would speak.  Use it as opportunity to show your insecurities and weaknesses.

“Blessed are the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.”
– Matthew 5:9

  • So, to sum it up, we’re all broken and hurting. – “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” -Romans 3:23
  • Don’t use it as an excuse to treat others poorly. – “Therefore thou art inexcusable, O man, whosoever thou art that judgest: for wherein thou judgest another, thou condemnest thyself; for thou that judgest doest the same things.” -Romans 2:1
  • Forgive those that have hurt you. – “But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.” -Matthew 6:15
  • Seek the truth based on the Bible. – “. . . they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.” -Acts 17:11
  • Determine the impact you want sin to have on you. Quit being a victim. – “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” -Isaiah 41:10

I pray this insight helps you navigate the process of maturing in Christ.

– Written by Kati

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