“Behold, happy is the man whom God correcteth: therefore despise not thou the chastening of the Almighty.”
– Job 5:17

I don’t know if it is just me, or if it is a common misconception that growth stops once you leave your childhood home and get your first job.  I remember when I was in middle school and high school thinking that as soon as I graduated, I would ‘arrive.’  I would be an adult, and I would be perfectly mature.  Whatever that meant.

Well, I am sure that anyone that has lived past this point in their life realizes there is no truth in this.  Adulthood constantly brings problems and challenges that we get to navigate.  Okay then, maybe the growing stops once we have kids, because parents know all of the answers, right?  I mean after all, they’ve brought life into this world, and they’ve figured out their relationship as well as how to take care of another human being.  Wrong again!!

This way of thinking is childish and selfish. It has lack of insight of self and empathy for others, because you’re always trying to prove you’re perfectly matured, have no flaws, and have figured it all out.  The reality is that life will bring us challenges and problems to solve until the day we die.  In fact, instead of constantly looking for the place that we no longer need to grow or mature, our prayer should be that the process of maturing continues to challenge us until we pass from this life, because the other choice is to wallow in self-pity and arrogance.  The self-pity comes when we think that we don’t deserve challenges, and the arrogance comes when we think that we’ve reached perfection – usually only because we’ve reached a certain age in life.

Growth will probably have discomfort, sometimes a fear of the unknown, and possibly hesitation.  That’s okay as long as we choose to embrace these feelings as part of the process and walk forward anyway.  This has been a hard lesson for me to accept as I want God to leave me alone and let me coast for a bit.  I mean how much more maturing does He want from me?  I’m not bad.  I’m not a murderer or a thief.  How arrogant and self-centered is that?  I am telling the God of the universe that I know more than Him, and I can tell Him what is best for me instead of the other way around.  Imagine if one of our children said this to us when we were correcting them.

The reality is that I don’t know the end from the beginning, and unless I choose to mature and accept circumstances as opportunities for growth, I will continue to make the same mistakes and have the same regrets.  Homeschooling our kids and no longer having an 8-to-5 job includes more work, stress, and discomfort that my previous life, and I’ve struggled to continue to show my husband and kids God’s love in the midst of it.  I’ve thought it was okay to complain when I was tired so that everyone would know how tired I was.  Not sure what good that did, though.  If anything, it just drug everyone down with me.

God is showing me that in the midst of my exhaustion, I need to give love and encouragement and stop waiting until I feel good.  I have to look outside of myself, even when I’m tired and frustrated, and see what others need.  Maybe if I’m struggling, they are too.  Maybe if I’m exhausted, they are too.  Maybe if I’m overwhelmed, they are too.  Instead of dragging us all down, I need to start lifting us all up.  Sometimes I can only do this for a few minutes, and sometimes I can make it to lunch.  That’s okay, because God fills in when we can’t as long as we are walking forward in faith and obedience and continue to keep getting up when we fall (Matthew 14:28).

I do regret those times when I’ve lost His vision and failed to show His love, but I can’t keep looking backwards.  I must reset my bearing and walk knowing that He’s beside me.  I would not trade for the maturity that we, as a family, have gained from His corrections and guidance.  We all work in the elements more than we did before, and my husband and I are learning to co-parent instead of being two ships passing in the night.  There are definitely days that I want my ‘easy life’ back, but I am very thankful for the fact that all four of us rely on God more and get to support each other in this test of life as we shift our priorities from maintaining our ‘nice life’ to asking God to enter it.

Everyone will have their own journey in life full of challenges to overcome.  Our choice is how we respond to them.  Do we whine and feel sorry for ourselves and ask God to fix everything for us because we’re already perfect, or do we thank God for giving us opportunities to shape and refine us so that we are a better example for Him?  You know what?  You’re going to mess up.  You’re going to get it wrong, but as long as you’re focused on Christ and being thankful instead of being insulted, He’ll help you.

In order to be able to do this, you have to know Him and His person.  The best way to do this is to read His Word every day.  No matter what is going on around you, build those relationships close to you so that when the storms come, you can trust each other to hold on.  And know that life is a wild and crazy journey; expect it.  Don’t act surprised or insulted by it.  Remember, this is just the beginning – the testing ground for the next life.  Keep your head up above the chaos and remember your prize at the end (John 14:3).

“But watch thou in all things, endure afflictions, do the work of an evangelist, make full proof of thy ministry.  For I am now ready to be offered, and the time of my departure is at hand.  I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith.   Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto ALL them also that love his appearing. Do thy diligence to come shortly unto me.”
– 2 Timothy 4:5-9

– Written by Kati

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