“Hath God forgotten to be gracious? Hath he in anger shut up his tender mercies?  And I said, This is my infirmity: but I will remember the years of the right hand of the most High. I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember thy wonders of old.”
– Psalm 77:9-11

There are times in our lives when God seems far away, times when we wrestle with questions about God’s character and answers seem scarce. But God doesn’t change even if things happen that we don’t like. While I still don’t have all the answers about this, recently I went through a trial, by fire some might say, that has allowed me to see God’s goodness, faithfulness, and truth in a new light.

Last spring, our truck caught on fire. It was a Sunday night, we were about an hour from home, we pulled up to an intersection and saw smoke coming out of the hood of the truck.  At first, I thought it might be an overheating radiator— but then we could see flames shooting down the door. My daughter was driving and pulled over. We jumped out and called 911. When salvaging our possessions became impossible, we sat down in the grass on the side of the road. By the time the firefighters arrived, there was not much more than a frame left. There’s been a lot to process since that night, but God has been teaching me three things through this fire that I hope can be of use to you all:

1) God owns everything. Psalm 24:1 says, “The earth is the LORD’S, and the fulness thereof; the world, and they that dwell therein.” It is His to give and to take. He’s not mean, vindictive or stingy, but He’s also not confused that everything belongs to Him. I believe the truck served a purpose for as long as God allowed us to have the truck. Giving it up was His choice and His choice is good.

2) God is love. 1 John 4:8 says, “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love.” In times of loss, God shows His mercy and care, because that’s who He is. That fire happened in a town and in front of a church. We had just driven out of a rural and isolated area that would not have had good cell service or any firefighters nearby. We could have broken down there alone, injured, and without help. But instead, no one was hurt. Two sweet ladies approached us. They were the last ones to leave their church after a Bible study, and we just happened to be parked in front of their church. They offered us water and blankets and refused to leave until our ride arrived. They made small talk, and one lady quietly sang worship songs to herself. They had a calming presence. God sent those two people to comfort us. Here’s the point: I have to stop my negative thoughts and focus on how God is good and how He shows mercy.

3) God works according to purpose. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.” I don’t have to know the purpose to know there is purpose. That stops the tyranny in my brain that searches for the “why” and “how.” See, I grew up in a religious home, and my default is always to find fault – usually in me. If this seems humble, it’s not. It’s a way of seeking control. It sounds like this, “If I had done something different, this truck fire would not have happened.”  There was nothing I could have done different to prevent the fire. For reasons God has not revealed to me, that was the last day He wanted us to have that truck. The leap of faith is that God has His reasons for EVERYTHING and in some cases, we will never find the reason on this side of eternity. And that’s okay.

Many circumstances in our lives are trials by fire – showing us what we know and what we don’t know about God and about ourselves. Maybe you are facing something that seems too big, too consuming for you. Maybe you have questions that you feel unable to answer. Maybe you are searching for something steady, something unchanging, something to rely on. The only thing that can satisfy that search is God’s Word. To answer the question posed in Psalms 77, no, God has not forgotten to be gracious and show mercy. His good character and mighty deeds are the same now as they always have been. To believe that even when you can’t see it, is faith. I freely admit I cannot fill in all the blanks about what happened that fiery night, but here’s what I want to remember: Everything is God’s. God is love. God works according to purpose. And God is always more than enough.

– Jill

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