Dear Dads,

This Father’s Day can be very special for you or just another day.  It will or will not be special for your children and grandchildren.

As a father, there were many times I did not parent like I would have wanted to be fathered.  Many times, I found myself doing what my stepfather had done to me that I hated.  I thought, “Oh well, I tried.”  The ‘because it happened to me’ excuse was not just a feeble excuse; it was a slap in the face to truth.  If I would not fix it, why do I think my children would fix it?

Being a father is being responsible even if you do not want to be.  It is looking in your children’s eyes and seeing that only you can give the value to them that they so deeply desire.  You can say, “Mike I had my own battles to fight.  I had nothing to give.”  Sorry, Charlie.  You remember that Bible lying around, gathering dust, unused, unread, and mostly unapplied?  You and I failed because we did not seek the Father’s love and acceptance.  The cure for all of our shortcomings is in the Bible.

If you had a harsh father, you probably developed a strong, stubborn will: “No one is going to tell me what to do.”  If you have a stubborn will, you will find it very, very hard to admit when you’re wrong.  Many men never admit when they’re wrong.  Good intentions do not equal truth.

To want someone to love us when we do not love ourselves is impossible.  God has built into each child the desire to be like their father and to feel the comfort of a father’s approval.  Every child is aware of what they do wrong.  Berating failure only hardens the will.  Approval and praise are the deepest needs of the soul.  Do not surrender the power that God has put within you.

Never having a father, I would sometimes imagine walking down the street and seeing a man I resembled and him putting his arm around me and saying, “You’re my son.  I love you.”  It never happened.  When I embraced that expression from God, it changed my life.

This Father’s Day, instead of waiting for a card from your children, write a letter of apology and praise to your children.  I think the greatest exchange between a father and child occurred when Jesus was dying on the cross and cried out, “Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit” (Luke 23:46).  The last thing on His mind was His Abba, His Daddy.

Be fathers this Father’s Day,
Pa

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