This month in church, we have been talking about the sin of envy. To me, the Bible defines envy as a resentment or anger towards another person because of what they have achieved or are blessed with. This often leads to negative feelings about the other person. It is closely related to jealousy.

When we first started talking about envy, I knew that I had struggled with it in the past, but I thought that I had largely dealt with it. However, as I have gained a better understanding, God has helped me see that I still have a way to go with removing this from my life.

What causes envy?
There are likely many things that lead to envy, but the one thing that I see again and again is insecurity. What is insecurity? Insecurity is the feeling that you have a personal defect or flaw – something like I’m too short, I’m too fat, I’m lazy, or I’m not lovable. Basically, you don’t feel that you are important or talented in some way. Everybody in life will have insecurities. It is impossible to escape childhood without them. Now some of you will say, “I’m sure that I have insecurities, but I just don’t see them.” Or “They don’t affect me.”  That is possible but highly unlikely.

How do we know if we have insecurities?
The primary symptom of insecurity and envy is comparison. If you compare yourself to another person in a way that makes you better or worse than the other person, then you are functioning in envy. For example, if you say, “Man that person doesn’t work nearly as hard as me.  I’m glad I’m not lazy like that.” Or you say, “Man my kids aren’t as good as his kids.  I must be a terrible parent.”  Comparison is the byproduct of insecurities, and the quickest path to envy.

Getting to the Root
It seems to me that the quickest and most thorough way to deal with a problem is to attack it at its root cause. So addressing our insecurities should be the quickest, easiest way to address our envy. So where do our insecurities come from? It is my belief that insecurities come primarily from childhood: birth to mid-twenties. They are caused by situations where we felt insecure in ourselves and less than others. This leads us, in some way, to try and hide or cover up this flaw throughout adulthood. It’s like a child is trapped inside us that is trying to compensate for or cover up our insecurities.

The Solution
So what do we do about these insecurities?  What we should do for any child who is struggling with insecurities. We should provide them with love while challenging those insecurities.  So how do we do that?  Stop the comparison!

Since insecurities come from comparing ourselves to others, we have to stop doing that. You have to realize that God made you exactly who He wanted you to be. Whatever circumstances or “disadvantages” you find yourself in, God will use this to make you exactly who He needs you to be.  A giraffe can’t be an elephant any more than you can be someone else.  The Bible says, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14). Since I am wonderfully made, there is no other person I can be or should be other than who God made me to be.

Love Yourself
Most Christians know Mark 12:31, “And the second is like, namely this, ‘Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. There is none other commandment greater than these.”

This scripture says that we should take care of and love those around us as we would ourselves. If we do not love ourselves though, how can we love others?  So when we look at our insecurities, we are not loving ourselves. We are saying that God’s plan is not perfect, and I am not part of His plan. This will lead to envy, jealousy, and then compensation. Isn’t this what happened with Cain and Abel?

Cain was jealous of Abel’s sacrifice and saw himself as being less than Abel, so he killed his brother to ease his feeling of not being as good as him.  If Cain had just accepted that he was who God made him to be, he would have been happy to offer an appropriate sacrifice and not kill Abel. So in order to love others and not be envious, we must stop seeing ourselves as inadequate to God and know that He has made us in His plan. Only when we love ourselves, can we love others.

Challenge for the Week
So here is the challenge for the week: stop comparing yourself to others.  Only you can be who God made you to be. The second challenge is when you feel inadequate, believe in faith that God has a perfect plan for you and that He loves you.

– Written by Jeremiah

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