There are times when I sit down and play my guitar. I pour my heart out to God. There’s no particular song in mind. I just play. Tonight, as I sat down and my fingers found the strings, the song I started playing was a song that was written in about 30 minutes by my 12-year-old daughter.

She had an assignment in her Bible class where she could pick between about four different verses and either write about them, draw about them, or create a song. Now, if you’ve been around Kerah for any amount of time, you know there are two things that she loves…music and horses. Her love for those things is on the verge of obsession. Really, I’m not kidding. When she told me she wanted me to help her write a song, I was all in.

We go find a quiet place to work, and she picks the Bible verse Psalm 9. We talk about what it means. I start playing some different chord progressions while she writes the lyrics. And within minutes, this little song of hers came to life. Nothing elaborate. Short and sweet.

I will give thanks to You Lord,
With my whole heart,
I count all my blessings!

I will be glad and,
Exalt You on high,
I will sing praise to Your Name!

I will sing to You Christ,
For You give new life!

We videoed the song to turn in to her teacher. What the teacher did not see was that she had to sit on a stool, and I removed her crutches from the background. Kerah was facing her own challenges after a knee injury.

The other day, she and I were at it once again with her other passion, horses. She was having trouble with a horse. I went to help and something happened that shouldn’t have. A complete freak accident, using the common expression. But, with God there are no accidents! In bridling the horse, it spooked, and somehow its neck got underneath my armpit and picked me up and launched me to the ground, fracturing three of my vertebrae.

It very well may have been the worst pain of my life. The doctors said it will take a while for me to get back to normal. I had to have help to do everything. It was hard to walk, get in and out of bed, and do the simple task of dressing myself. After a pretty rough week, I began to feel a little better, just in time to go on our already planned spring break vacation. It seemed destined to be canceled. However, my kids were great sports. They just wanted a break from school. But I didn’t want to be the reason for missing it. Spring break has been cherished for years in our family. We have a ton of photos and great memories watching the kids and our dogs grow up. Day by day, I was getting a little better and a little better. Only by God’s grace and His plan, we were able to make the trip. We enjoyed the peaceful family time we had at the lake.

A discussion we had before we planned our trip was what do we do with our dogs. I’m not sure that Kate isn’t half fish anyway. I have never seen a dog that loves water as much as she does. Of course she must go with us. Bullseye is old, but he’s gone on nearly every spring break with us, and even though we know it is probably his last, we can’t leave him behind. I hope that was the right call.

We get home and Bullseye isn’t doing well. We’ve noticed his decline for some time now. But it seems to have accelerated in the last couple of weeks, almost perfectly matching the time of my injury. He’s not getting around very good and eating less and less. I think the trip was hard on him. Bottom line is, once again reality is sinking in. He’s old, and we may have to let go of him sooner than we want, because we don’t want him to suffer.

Man, that’s hard. Twelve years of him being a part of our family. Eli got him as a Christmas gift when he was three. My kids really don’t remember anytime without him. He was by far the best gift Eli ever got. When Eli was having some tough times at school, he would come to our bedroom crying about an hour after going to bed, “Can Bullseye sleep with me? I can’t sleep.” Whether Eli was taking him on a hike, pulling him in a trailer behind his four-wheeler, or using him as a pillow in the floor, Bullseye was good for him. He was good for all of us.

In the carnal, it seems like the world around us is crashing down. Ky has been so good taking care of me and the kids but is having neck and back pain herself. She has to see a neurologist to figure out what is going on. It just so happens that my doctor has recommended that I see that same doctor for my back. Kerah is still complaining that her knee is still bothering her now. So we have an appointment coming up for that. And then we have to prepare ourselves and our kids for the loss that is coming, not with a dog, but with a member of our family.

Sometimes life is hard, and sometimes life seems brutal. How do we get through? There are two things that have stuck out to me during this time, and I think that is why I began playing Kerah’s song tonight. The first is being thankful for the big things and all the tiny, little, simple things that are easy to take for granted. And the second is praising God regardless of the situation we find ourselves in. His plan is perfect. I don’t have to know how it ends. I just choose to walk with Him today.

How can I be thankful with all that is happening? I can either focus on the bad and be depressed, or I can look for the good that God has put in my life. Right now, that’s an easy list. Even when I was in pain, I could wiggle my toes. Even though I had to have help to get up and down and in and out of bed, I could still walk. Even though there was so much I can’t do, I have an amazing wife doing everything without complaining about the pain she has. I have a loving, dedicated family that drops their plans to take care of mine. I have kids that bring joy to my life and step up when needed. I have a dog that brought comfort to my kids even when I couldn’t. We are all okay. We will all be okay.

Praising God is simply a choice. Do I choose to praise You only in the easy times? Or after the trials are over? Or when I am given what I want? Or do I choose to praise You now? In this moment? In the pain, in the confusion, in the grief, in the fear, in the sorrow, in the waiting? I will praise You now, not later! Finding the goodness of God shouldn’t be that hard! And if it isn’t that hard, then why not praise Him in the valley, rather than waiting to reach the peak?

I don’t know if you find yourself in similar situations or feelings right now. But if you do, know that God doesn’t waste our pain. My back didn’t miraculously get better overnight. The morphine in the ER did a good job taking the pain away, but it came back. Healing will take time. Grieving the loss of Bullseye will take time. Waiting on answers from doctors will take time. But I know this is a process and my Heavenly Father is here, right now, in this moment. And I will keep counting my blessings and singing praise to His name.

“For our light affliction, which is but for a moment, worketh for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory; While we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen: for the things which are seen are temporal; but the things which are not seen are eternal.”
2 Corinthians 4:17-18 KJV

– Written by Lee

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