Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself, except it abide in the vine; no more can ye, except ye abide in me.   I am the vine, ye are the branches: He that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without me ye can do nothing.
-John 15:4-5

Do you know anyone that just rubs you the wrong way?  They just can’t seem to do anything right, and you don’t want to be around them?  I’m afraid we all do, unfortunately.  On the other hand, do you know anyone that you absolutely love to be around, and when you’re not with them, you’re planning the next time you can meet?  I think we’ve probably both experienced this as well.  What makes us draw towards each other?  What makes us want to spend more time with each other and invest in a future with someone else?

Sometimes it is simply because we have similar personalities, or maybe we see the world through the same lens?  I tend to think it is the later.  I tend to think that we’re drawn towards people that have a similar spirit which gives a similar perspective on the world.  We’re able to look past our differences, because we have a common purpose or mission in life.

My husband and I have completely opposite personalities.  I love some good down time with no one to interact with.  If I’ve just read a book, I may be able to discuss the table of contents, but I’m not going to really enjoy discussing the deeper meanings of the book.  It is what it is.  If you’re interested in the topic, go read the book yourself.  He, on the other hand, enjoys nothing more than story time, and the more the merrier.  He could discuss biblical philosophies, Star Wars, why you thought that was a good idea . . . or a bad idea, but his favorite is a room full of people laughing with the ultimate goal of everyone feeling just a little better about themselves or life in general when the event is over.

The funny thing is that, despite our different personalities, we were drawn to each other, and despite our joking, it wasn’t just because of the other one’s good looks at the time.  For whatever reason, despite our youngness and naivety, I think we knew that we shared a common goal.  We shared a common purpose.  I loved that he could make everyone in the room laugh, and no one felt isolated.  In fact, it didn’t matter who you were, you wanted to be in the room, even if it was just to listen to his ramblings.  And I’m not just talking out of love blindness.  On the flip side, I’ve heard him say that, despite my social anxiety, he knew I’d always do the right thing even when (or maybe especially when) no one was looking.

Life has been rough at times. Some days it has been harder for me, and some days it has been harder for him.  Some days I’m trying my best to be the encourager and cheerleader, and other days he is trying his best to live a silent day to give me a break.  But every time we look back, we’re happy that we’ve had each other to encourage and lift up.  We’re glad that we have a common purpose of taking care of those around us in the name of Christ including our biggest legacies: the ones that will live after us (Matthew 19:14; 3 John 1:4; Psalm 127:3-4).

As I was thinking of this irony – our opposite personalities, yet a relationship that we both adore – I was thinking of our relationship with Christ as Christians.  We’ll never be just like Him.  Our flesh will always try to push us away from Christ. There’ll always be something about His ‘personality’ that just rubs us the wrong way, but we have to remember that is just our flesh.  He’s not only perfectly there for us, but as long as we’ve chosen Him, He’s shaping our circumstances to give us an opportunity to choose Him instead of ourselves (Proverbs 19:21; 1 Corinthians 10:13).

He doesn’t ask us to choose Him, because He needs us (Luke 19:40).  He asks us to choose Him, because when we do, we’re drawing back to our source of life (John 15:4-5).  We’re acknowledging that we’re not gods of our own worlds (Psalm 112).  And in this submission, we can love like Him and see the world, if even for a moment, like He sees it.

He created us to interact with Him.  He wants relationship, and one requirement of relationship is choice.  If we’re forced to love Him, that’s just imprisonment or slavery.  So as much as He watches in agony as we decide what we want to do, He can’t take us under His fold as His child until we acknowledge Him as God instead of ourselves (John 1:12; 2 Corinthians 13:5; John 6:37; John 3:16; 1 John 1:9).  He can’t physically make the choice for us to love Him and choose Him even when it’s scary, because then, we’d just be automatons.  We wouldn’t be intelligent beings that have chosen to interact with and love Him.  Even though the world looks terrifying around us, and it seems that terrible things are happening; He’s watching us, hoping and praying that, despite the scariness, we choose Him (1 Timothy 2:4; 2 Peter 3:9).

So, let’s put aside our personality differences, and look at the bigger picture of purpose and destiny in our lives.  (1) When those that you love are annoying, just remember that as long as you have the same end goal, you’ll make it.  Your job is to help them as it is their goal to help you; and (2) God’s the same.  He may seem annoying, because He doesn’t approach problems the same way you would, but He’s infinitely wiser than we are and infinitely filled with more love than us (Matthew 7:11).  He is always your biggest cheerleader, and He wants us to succeed.  So, just like with our earthly relationships, our job is to support Christ and our shared mission, despite our personality differences.  It takes all types of personalities, but His is the only perfect one.

– Written by Kati

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