In the last blog we talked about leadership in the family and the BE of the Be, Know, Do Model of Leadership.  In this blog, I want to talk about the KNOW part of leadership.  As a quick reminder, the KNOW part of leadership is about your skills as a Christian.  It is about what you teach and impart to your children. The two main parts of this, for me, is your knowledge and familiarity with scripture and praying, both directly to God and with others. The Bible says in 2 Timothy 2:15 to, “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.”  The Bible also says to, “Pray without ceasing. In everything give thanks.  For this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (1 Thessalonians 5:17-18.)

Studying the Bible.
Here is an idea that may be foreign to some people.  If you want to be a good Christian, you have to read and study the Bible.  The Bible is the guide book for how we live our lives and how we interact with others.  It also shows the nature of God and who He is.  When it comes to knowing and following God, it is not enough to just sit and listen in church. We must have our own understanding.  In Philippians 2:12 it says “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.”

Here is what I would suggest if you are new to the Bible.  Start with the book of John.  John gives a good summary of Jesus’ life. It also gives us a good start on what Christianity is and how we should live our lives.  The second thing I would recommend is to pick a topic that you feel God is laying on your heart and read through the scriptures that you can find that are related to this.  For example, if I want to know more about joy, I look up every scripture related to joy.  This can be done with a concordance that you can buy at a bookstore or one you can find on your phone.  I also use  It is a topical Bible, so you just type in a specific topic. doesn’t give word-for-word matches but matches on topics.

Praying with God
Praying is probably one of the most important things we do in the kingdom. From the beginning, in the garden, God desired to have a relationship with us.  It says in Genesis that He would talk with Adam and Eve in the cool of the day.  He wanted to hear what they had to say, and He wanted to talk to them. Prayer is simply our communication with God.

So how do we pray?  We pray like we are communicating with someone that we are close to. When Jesus prayed, it sounded like He was talking with His father.  Luke 22:42, “Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me.  Yet not my will, but yours be done.” Simply talk with God about the things that you are thankful for.  Talk with Him about the things you are concerned about.  Ask Him for guidance on decisions for your family. Ask for guidance on what your purpose is in the kingdom. These personal prayers help build our relationship with God.  Prayer shows us that God is really there, and He interacts with us.  It makes our relationship with Him personal.

Praying with Others
The Bible says in Mark 15:16, “And He said unto them, ‘Go ye into all the world, and preach the gospel to every creature.”  Sharing the gospel with the whole world surely starts at home first.  This is done by sharing scripture, but it is also done by praying with our children.  When we pray with our children, we are teaching them how to pray.  Prayer also shows them the nature of God.  It helps them to see that He is concerned about us, even down to the things that we think a mighty and busy God wouldn’t be concerned about.  When I pray with my kids, nothing they are concerned about is considered off limits.  We have prayed for everything from healing for them to comfort for grieving over a dead pet.

There are four things that we always pray for: what we are thankful for, His guidance in the decisions we make, other people, and what we need.  What we pray for shows us who God is.  We say the things we are thankful for, because it shows that He is a good God who cares about us.  It shows that He is worth our praise.  Psalm 34:8, “Taste and see that the LORD is good.  Blessed is the man that trusteth in Him.”

We pray for guidance in making decisions because it shows that God is part of our life.  Whatever we do comes from Him and not from us.  We are His servants.  We pray for other people, because it shows that He cares for us and has compassion for us.  “Are not two sparrows sold for a farthing?  And one of them shall not fall on the ground without your Father.  But the very hairs of your head are all numbered.  Fear ye not therefore.  Ye are of more value than many sparrows” (Matthew 10:29-31).

We pray for what we need, because it allows us to see that God will take care of us. It allows us to see that when He says He will do something, it will be done.  We end every prayer recognizing that God is wise and caring and that He knows all things better than us.  We end every prayer with the statement or idea that what He wants will be done.

So in summary, the KNOWing part of BEing a righteous parent requires study of your Bible. Be able to impart the principles of the Bible to your children.  Second, pray with your children. This will help your children to better understand personal parts of God and help them with their own relationship.

— Written by Jeremiah, a PhD psychologist