I finally wrapped up my last week of college courses and believe me, relieved is an understatement. This past fall was a battle to say the least. It was overwhelming and, at many times, I didn’t think I would be able to do it.
I’ve spent the entirety of my college journey online because of Covid-19. Having the opportunity to continue my education while keeping my family safe at the same time has been a true blessing, but at the same time, I’ve found myself wondering where God is leading me.
When Covid-19 hit my world was turned upside down. Academics, extracurriculars, friends, and future plans were all put on hold. I then began looking towards my senior year and the prospects of becoming valedictorian.
I always wanted to be valedictorian, because I dreamed of giving the speech. But now that I was going to be an online learner, I was facing new regulations and the possibility of losing my dream. But God provided; He made a way of me to continue to be an online learner and become valedictorian. God had carried me through this big hurdle, but then I was in a place where I didn’t know what was ahead of me.
I was valedictorian. Now what? The obvious answer would have been to go to college, but Covid-19 totally changed the way everything looked. So, while I applied for scholarships, I went forward with the belief that if God wanted me to go to college, He would provide a way for me to go to college. Later, I applied to what honestly looked like a really sketchy scholarship. I didn’t think anything of it when I sent it off, but then I got an email saying that I was a recipient. It was for $3,000. I was ecstatic, because every penny helped. Then I read further and realized that it was renewable for up to four years. God had provided me with a $12,000 scholarship. After totaling my scholarships, it was obvious that God was providing for me to go to college.
Then, the next logical step would be go to college, right? Wrong. I had absolutely no idea what I wanted to do in my future. Before Covid-19, I loved law and I had my ten-year plan totally figured out to attend law school. But after seeing the hate and confusion that came from lawyers and politicians when the pandemic hit, God opened my eyes to why I had wanted to go into law in the first place.
I wanted to be them. I wanted to be a politician, to network, communicate, and persuade people. I had ignored one crucial part of being a politician: being a politician meant that I was going to have to be willing to bend in order to please people. Let’s face it. There are very few people who compare justice to the gospel, and God opened my eyes and heart to this.
I’ll be honest. At first it wasn’t easy. I was angry that God had taken away my dream when it felt like I had already lost so much. (Newsflash: I had some humbling that had to be done.) I finally just asked God, “What do you want me to do with my life, because my plans are going to crap in a basket.” And do you know what I heard? Absolutely nothing.
I was being a diva, and if you ask my dad, a spoiled brat. I was offended that God had not made things work the way I wanted them to work, and I knew it. I just didn’t want to admit it. I had a lot of growing to do before I was going to get any answers, so I started praying for an open heart.
God later led me to counseling or psychology. I say potato, potato, but my Uncle Bear says potato tomato. I had no earthly idea what I wanted to do in either of those fields, but I knew that was the first step. Then God opened the door to youth ministry through my family’s blog at Sanctuary Family Farms and my podcast, Strength from Grace. Again, I didn’t know all of the details, but I knew this was the direction.
In life sometimes we get caught up in all of the details and how things are going to work out. When really, we just need to sit back and let God take care of us. Rather than worrying about if I was going to go to college or what I was going to do in college, I had to trust that God would make a way if He wanted me to go. I didn’t know what I wanted to do, and God gave me the answer when I was ready for it.
Proverbs 3:5 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding.”
I may still not know the exact details of what college is going to look like for me going forward or what my career will look like, but I do know that God will take care of me. He will let me know what I need to know.
Thank you again for joining me, and God bless.
— Written by Michaela